Gabriella Gets Around
by TheFabMax
Summary: Are you tired of Gabriella getting together with every male in the HSM movie? Well, laugh it off as I write about the different quirks in every predictable Gabriella pairing. PARODY
1. The Troyella Chapter

**Gabriella Gets Around**

**Chapter One: The Troyella Chapter.**

**A/N: This is basically a parody of all the different pairings that Gabriella is in. I mean, she's with basically everyone in the whole movie cast in the fics that some people write! So, if you have heard of an unusual pairing, please PM or tell me in a review. I so far only know of Troyella, Ryella, and Chadella.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…**

Gabriella hugged her books to her unusually large chest. She was so excited, because today she was going to a party at Sharpay's house. Even though she and Sharpay completely clashed, and in the movie they would NEVER be friends, we readers like to pretend that Sharpay isn't a total retard. Which she is. But no one realizes that.

Anyways, back to Gabriella. Where was I? Oh, yes, unusually large chest. Party at Sharpay's. Right. So, Gabriella walked down the hallway, getting a lot more attention than your average geek should. As she exited the recently-remodeled building that was East High, she looked around and saw none other than her crush, Troy Bolton. Or, as the cheerleaders call him, 'the hottie superbomb.' Which every fic refers to at least once.

"Oh, look." Taylor said, sidling up along side Gabriella. "It's lunkhead basketball man." Of course, Taylor said this because it is yet another essential line in every HSM fic, simply because we want to prove that we have, indeed, watched the movie.

"Oh, hey Taylor. Say, are you going to the party at Sharpay's tonight?" Gabriella asked, twirling a lock of her unusually perfect hair.

"Ugh, I hate that girl. But, I guess I'll go, simply because I'm so popular now that I'm dating Chad." Taylor, of course, is allowed to hate Sharpay, though Gabriella isn't. The authors never really explain this, instead giving vague answers like, "Taylor had experienced too much of Sharpay's wrath." Or, the ever-so-popular, "it fit in with the plot."

Gabriella filed her unusually long nails. "Do you think that Troy will be there?" Gabriella blurted out suddenly.

Taylor shrugged. "I'll ask my lil' hunny bunny boyfriend, but I'm pretty sure that he'll be there." Along with popularity, Taylor has also acquired a much smaller vocabulary.

Gabriella flashed her unusually bright smile. "Thanks, Tay-Tay!" With popularity, Gabriella had acquired lame nicknames for people, such as 'Tay-Tay' or 'Chad-Wad.' I know. I'm just as frightened as you are.

Taylor also grinned a falsely sweet smile, and walked away.

Gabriella looked at her watch, and gasped. Three o'clock already? The party started at nine! She only had—Gabriella counted on her fingers—six hours left to get ready for the party!

Gabriella quickly started walking home. Suddenly, a dark blue Porsche drove up along side her.

"Hey, want a ride?" Said a deep, masculine voice. (Three guesses who.)

"Oh, Troy, that would be great!" Gabriella said unusually shrilly. She climbed into his Porsche because, you know, a teacher's salary sure is a lot of money. Really. Troy didn't have to steal two years worth of his dad's paycheck just to make the down payment…

"It's no problem, Gabby." Answered Troy. Because, you know, in the movie, he _always_ calls her Gabby. Always.

"So, Troy," Gabriella started, fluttering her unusually long eyelashes. "Are you going to the party at Sharpay's house tonight?"

"Of course I am. Where else would I be?" Troy responded.

"Maybe helping your mother fold laundry. You are just _so_ helpful and kind."

"I know." Troy stopped the car. "Well, here's your house. Because, you see, I already know your address. I'm psychic." Troy tapped his head, to get the point across that he was, indeed, psychic.

Gabriella giggled loudly. "Like, Troy, you are so funny!"

Troy frowned. "No, I'm really psychic."

Gabriella giggled again. "Righty-o, Troy!" Gabriella, aka 'Gabby' then exited the Porsche.

As soon as Gabriella got into the house, she ran upstairs.

"Oh, no!" Gabriella fretted, staring into her unusually hip and stylish wardrobe. "I have nothing to wear! Everything I own sucks!"

Gabriella eventually decided to wear her (insert fancy designer name here) dress. It was (insert lengthy description here (because we just all need to know how Gabriella dresses.))

Gabriella then did her hair in curls. Because she can't do anything different to save her life.

Just as she finished, the clock turned to 9:00. Gabriella gasped, then ran down the stairs, and to… her couch. Gabriella sat down patiently, and waited until it was precisely 9:12. See, Gabriella was always fashionably late. She then went out the door, and walked down the street to Sharpay's house. Because, you know, I'm pretty sure that they all live on the same street.

Right when Gabriella was about to knock on the door (the time was now 9:17) she heard a voice from behind her say, "Let me get that."

Gabriella gasped unusually loudly, and turned around. It was Sharpay! She had magically appeared from nowhere, like she tends to do in the movie.

Gabriella held an unusually pretty hand to her unusually large chest. "Goodness, Sharpay, you scared me!"

Sharpay smiled, showing off brilliant white teeth. "My bad. I was just getting pizza. See?" Sharpay held up 10 boxes of pizza, which had surely not been there before.

"Oh!" Gabriella said, in her unusually sweet voice, "Let me help you!" Gabriella lifted seven boxes off of the pile. Gabriella, though she looked very thin and delicate, was actually a famous female wrestler. Gabriella did indeed have many talents.

"Thanks!" Sharpay said thankfully, and opened the door.

Gabriella gasped. The party was hoppin'! All around her, different things were happening. For example, in one corner, it looked like a game of 'Drop' was taking place. **(A/N: If you don't know what drop is, it's a game where one person yells, '1, 2, 3, DROP!' And the last person to sit down has to take off one article of clothing.) **In another corner, several kids were drinking punch. In the center of the room, people were dancing. Dancing at the Evan's party was actually quite a difficult feat, as the house was so crowded, it was difficult to move.

Gabriella scanned the crowd. Where was Troy? After a few minutes, she spotted him by the refreshments table. Gabriella walked over to Troy, and said,

"Hey, Troy! Wha—" The rest of her sentence was cut off, as the beginning notes of 'Start of Something New' began to play.

"Gabby!" Troy exclaimed. "It's our song!" He then pulled Gabriella up to the Karaoke stage that had conveniently appeared, and they began to sing. Without the sheet music. Or any type of musical aid. Because they knew the song. I mean, they had already sung it ONE time, so why shouldn't they know it?!

Troy looked deep into Gabriella's eyes.

"_Livin' in my own wooooooooorld._

_Didn't un-der-stand._

_That anything can hap-pen._

_When you take a chaaaaaaaaance!"_

Gabriella sighed, and continued the song.

(Insert the rest of the lyrics here.)  
After they had finished the song, Troy brought Gabriella outside.

"Gabriella," he started off. "I have something to tell you."

"Well, then, tell it to me, Troy-Boy!" Gabriella giggled.

"I," Troy started, "Well, I, y'know, like you. A lot."

Gabriella's unusually bright eyes grew brighter as they glistened with tears. "Oh, Troy-Boy. I like you too. No, wait, I love you. Even though we've only just found out that we like each other, I feel that we have a strong connection."

Troy shrugged. "OK. Works for me. Now, let's go inside. I heard that Chad and/or Sharpay spiked the punch, hoping to ruin our relationship. Again."

Gabriella smiled. "OK!"

Troy and Gabriella then went inside, and drank some punch. They also had wild, crazy sex in someone's bedroom.

THENEXTMORNING-THENEXTMORNING

Gabriella woke up suddenly, only to find herself draped across Troy, naked.

"Oh, dear." Gabriella said in an unusually good monotone. "What do we have here?"

Troy, who had coincidentally woken up at the same time as Gabriella, shrugged. "I dunno. Though it looks like something we will regret."

Gabriella reached over to her half-finished cup of punch on the table. "I'm thirsty."

Troy grabbed her hand. "NO!" he exclaimed. "It'll hurt the baby!"

Gabriella withdrew her hand. "How do you know that I'm going to be pregnant?"

Troy shrugged. "When are you not?"

Gabriella reached over onto the night table, and grabbed a pregnancy test. "Good point. But, just in case…" Gabriella then exited into the bathroom.

When she came back, Troy looked at her expectantly. "Well?"

Gabriella heaved an unusually dramatic sigh. "It's… negative."

Troy looked shocked. "But… but… now your mom can't look after a baby that was the result of our drunken mistakes! The whole plotline of the story is ruined!"

Gabriella laughed. "I was just kidding. Of course it's positive!"

Troy looked relieved. "Well. Don't scare me like that ever again!"

Gabriella laughed… again. "OK." Gabriella then sobered. "Troy, I have something to tell you." Troy looked apprehensive. Gabriella continued. "The baby… might not be yours."

Troy gasped. "_What?!?!_"

Gabriella sighed unusually dramatically. "You see, Troy, earlier on, one of your opponents and/or my father and/or Ryan raped me."

Troy shrugged. "You never actually get pregnant from being raped, you know. You only get pregnant from having sex with me. I wouldn't worry if I were you."

"That's a fair point," Gabriella said, unusually thoughtfully. "I never really have gotten pregnant from being raped. And the rapist never evens wears a condom! And we always do!" Gabriella began to pace. "I'm starting to see a plot hole here…"

"Yeah," Troy said, grimacing. "Darn those condoms! We should sue!"

Gabriella's face lit up. "Yeah! Good idea, honey."

Troy puffed out his chest. "I know."

Gabriella and Troy got dressed unusually quickly, all the while plotting to sue the Trojan condom company.

**A/N: I have one request; please, no one review and say, "The characters were soooo out of character." The characters are _supposed_ to be OOC. It's a parody! Oh, yeah, up next… The Ryella Chapter. And, one more thing, I won't be updating this too frequently. I have two other stories going on, and this is just to blow off steam, and to relax.**

**I like reviews, even from anonymous people!**

**Tootles!**

**TheFabMax**


	2. The Ryella Chapter

**Gabriella Gets Around**

**Chapter Two: The Ryella Chapter**

**A/N: I'm sorry. There's not excuse to why I haven't updated. I'm just lazy. But I love you all! Mwah! **

As Gabriella and Troy walked out of the Evan's house, and stepped over the fifth unconscious body in their way, it occurred to Gabriella that Troy was _far_ too overprotective of her. Because that's something you can tell after the first nine hours of your relationship, that's for sure. She also noticed that Troy was _far_ to perfect. He was taking the limelight off of her, Gabriella thought with a huff, and that just wouldn't do.

Now, Gabriella is not your average run-of-the-mill whore/brainiac. She is also an expert on breaking up, having been in many previous relationships. In fact, celebrities come to her for advice in how to have a very public break-up, but make it look like they actually cared for their privacy. Gabriella does, indeed, have many talents.

So Gabriella put her overly-large brain to work. What to do? She, of course, couldn't let Troy break up with her, oh, no. Gabriella always had to do the breaking-up. After all, who wants to date a girl who's just been dumped? Gabriella then came up with a brilliant and oh-so original idea. Make Troy cheat on her! This is, of course, one of the main plots in every Ryella story. Troy cheats with Sharpay, blah, blah, Gabriella dumps him, Ryan comforts Gabriella, blah, blah, and they have crazy sex. Of course, this would involve getting Sharpay to agree to kiss Troy, but that shouldn't be a problem. With a bit of, ahem, '_persuasion_', Gabriella was sure Sharpay would see her side. What's this? _Foreshadowing_, you say? Nah, what are you talking about?

Gabriella turned around abruptly. Troy, who had been in the middle of explaining the process of achieving the perfect jump shot, looked at her in surprise.

"Gabby! Where are you going, babe?" said Troy in a totally sexy, I-just-lost-my-virginity voice.

"I, uh, need Sharpay's help. With Science." Gabriella fluttered her eyelashes. The author pukes. Troy swoons. "Is that OK with you, hunny-bunny?"

Troy, ignoring the fact that Gabriella is the best in her year in Science, answered, "Sure, baby! See you later!"

Gabriella flounced off, while the unconscious bodies unconsciously watched her. The author wonders if that is redundant, but, alas, she is not quite sure if it is, indeed, redundant.

Gabriella knocked on the door. "Knock, knock!" she said cheerily, emphasizing that fact that she had, indeed, knocked on the door.

Sharpay opened the door. "Hel-lo, Gabrrrrriellllla." She flirtatiously brushed her hand down Gabriella's arm. "How are you?"

Gabriella pushed Sharpay's arm off her. "Slash isn't until the later chapters, Sharpay."

Sharpay put up her hands. "My bad. So, what do you want?"

"Well," Gabriella paused. "I need your help."

Sharpay smiled. "Walk with me." She pulled Gabriella inside. "Now, tell me your problem, dear one."

Gabriella looked confused at the use of the phrase 'dear one', but let it pass. "Well, I need you to help me break up with Troy." As Gabriella explained her evil plot to Sharpay, Sharpay nodded her head in understanding. Though she did not understand. You see, Sharpay was not the brightest light in the house. But she got the gist of what Gabriella was saying.

"So, who are you going to go to once you break-up with Troy?"

Gabriella was stumped. Who could she look fabulous with, and not have them show her up? John Klassen? No, he was too good a singer. Chris Cheung? His acting abilities were too good. Paul Hildebrand? No, he was the only guy who got better grades than her.

Then it hit Gabriella. _Ryan Evans_! She sighed. Now _there_ was a boy with flaws. Not being the crispiest chip in the bag, he had average grades. His fashion sense was way off, though he did have a hot body, and a fairly good singing voice. Not better than hers, of course, but it wasn't bad.

Gabriella rubbed her hands together and cackled evilly. Sharpay cringed, holding up her water bra to protect her. "What are you doing?!"

Gabriella stopped cackling, and popped Sharpay's water bra. "I have made my decision. I am going to date your brother."

Sharpay gasped. "Gasp! Not my brother! It would wreck his gay image, and he might start to dress like a normal, straight guy!" Sharpay shuddered. "Oh, you can't do that to him, Gabriella!"

Gabriella tried to cross her arms, but could not fit them over her chest. She settled for an angry glare. "You promised, Sharpay."

Sharpay sighed in defeat. "Fine. When should we do this 'thang'?"

Gabriella rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Hmm. How about Monday? At school? I can't take much more of Troy and his 'I'm better than you' attitude, you know? He is so self-centered!" said Gabriella, staring into the full length hall mirror and posing. "I just _hate_ conceited people!"

Sharpay nodded, throwing down the remains of her water bra. "OK." Then she started stroking Gabriella's arm. "Bye, my love."

Gabriella glared at Sharpay… again. "I told you, slash isn't until the later chapters!"

Sharpay rolled her eyes. "I know! Have you ever heard of foreshadowing? Duh!"

Gabriella nodded. "Right. Anyways, bye!"

"Bye!" Sharpay replied cheerily, and closed the door behind Gabriella.

MONDAY-MONDAY-MONDAY

Gabriella walked into school, head held high. She was _positive_ that her plan would work out. What boy wouldn't want to have a kiss from the biggest slut in school? Scratch that. The _second_ biggest slut in school. Gabriella wasn't the one kissing Troy, after all.

Gabriella smirked as she opened her locker. Poor Troy. Once she was done with him, he wouldn't know what had him. She almost pitied him. Almost being the key word here.

Gabriella was very satisfied with her plan. Oh, wait, you don't know what it is! -Author looks around- OK, I know Gabriella wants this to stay secret, so promise you won't tell her I told you this. Well, what she's going to do is give Sharpay the signal, making Sharpay kiss Troy. Gabriella walks in, slaps/dumps Troy, runs out crying, gets comforted by Ryan, etc, etc.

Where was I again? Ah, yes. Gabriella and her not-so-secret plan. Right. So, Gabriella went to her classes, taking care to walk with a spring in her step, so in really looked like she had springs in her… well, you know. The teacher said some not-so-important homeroom stuff, and Gabriella headed off to quantum physics.

IDAHO?YOUDAHO!-IDAHO?YOUDAHO!

It was lunchtime. Go time. Plan time. Break-up time. A-hell-of-a-lot-of-different-times time. Gabriella had changed into all black, just for the occasion. You have to be dressed appropriately for break-ups, or other people might think that you are disrespectful. And being disrespectful does not get you a boyfriend, that's for sure. Gabriella knew this because she had experimented at other schools. Gabriella moved around a lot, due to the fact that she tended to date the entire population of the high school she was currently in, including the girls, which left her dateless, so she had to move. In fact, at the last high school she was in, she wasn't called the Freaky Math Girl. She was called Go-fast Gabby. Because Gabriella went fast, if you know what I mean.

Anyways, back to the plan. Gabriella closed her locker with a 'bang' of finality, having just applied her last bit of mascara. She then started walking down the hallway, to the spot where Gabriella and Sharpay had agreed that 'the deed' would happen. In other words, Troy's locker. Gabriella peeked around the corner just enough in order to see Sharpay flirting outrageously with Troy, then quickly retreated. Now was when she had to do the signal. But… what was the signal again? Gabriella drummed her fingers on her chin. The signal… the _sig_nal… what _was_ that stupid thing?! Gabriella vaguely remembered that it had something to do with her six-inch stilettos. The author is just about to think that Gabriella is a bit slow-on-the-uptake, when Gabriella remembers the signal!

Gabriella clacks her heels in time to this pattern; clackety-clack-clack, clack-clack. And, sure enough, Sharpay responded with a 'clack-clack' of her own. Gabriella took a deeeeeeeeep breath, put on her best how-could-you-do-this-to-me-you-man-whore? face, and steps around the corner.

When Sharpay sees Gabriella, she immediately grabs Troy and kisses him, cutting him off in the middle of telling her the different ways you can foul someone. After Sharpay had kissed him for one-Mississippi count, she gave a loud sob, and cried;

"Troy! How could you do this to me, you man-whore?!" Troy whirled around instantly.

"Gabby, no! It's not what it looks like! Sharpay grabbed me! I had nothing to do with it!" After this exclamation-mark-full address to Gabriella, he fell silent, though not without shooting a few dirty looks at Sharpay.

Gabriella sighed dramatically, and then hiccupped. "I just don't know if I can trust you anymore, Troy. No, don't speak," Gabriella held out her hand to Troy, who had not, in fact, opened his mouth to speak. "I think it would be best of we… went our separate ways. Severed ties. Broke up."

Troy was speechless for a few moments. "But… but… why?"

Gabriella turned her head away. "Troy, I'm… I'm in love with… someone else."

Tears rolled down Troy's face. "Gabby… Gabby, no…"

Now Gabriella started to get frustrated. Couldn't he just accept it so she could start flirting with Ryan? God! "Pull yourself together, Troy!" she snapped. Realizing her mistake, she said quickly, "I mean, erm, I'm sorry, Troy. We're done." With that Gabriella ran down the hall, breasts bouncing painfully, away from, Troy.

When she turned the corner, she gave a tired sigh. Honestly, she had thought the captain of the football team… or whatever he was… would be manlier. Crying? After a break-up? To a girl's face? No, that wouldn't do. Gabriella was now even _more_ glad that she had broken up with Troy. What a wimp.

Gabriella, now beside her own locker, hurried to get changed. She had to get on her post-break-up-searching-for-new-relationship outfit. Which was a low-cut green top, tight jeans, and leather boots. The ultimate sexy. Gabriella, indeed, had many different outfits.

GABRIELLA-GABRIELLA-GABRIELLA

After school, Gabriella decided to 'make her move' with Ryan. In other words, she would tell Ryan that she loved… another. And then kiss him. Preferably followed by sex.

Anyways. While Gabriella was thinking dirty thoughts, she spotted Ryan up ahead. Excellent! Gabriella ran to catch up to him.

"Hey, Ryan," she said in her sexiest I'm-single-come-and-get-it voice. "What's up?"

"Nothing much," said Ryan. Suddenly, he looked concerned. "Hey, I heard about your break-up with Troy. What a bummer."

"Yeah," responded Gabriella. "I saw Sharpay and him kissing."

"Kissing, eh?" Ryan got a far-away, glazed look in his eyes.

Gabriella raised her voice slightly. "You know why else I broke up with Troy?"

Ryan blinked, startled. "Oh, um, no. Why?"

"Because," Gabriella said, running her hand up his chest. "I have feelings for… someone else."

Ryan gulped. "And who would that be?"

In response, Gabriella flung her arms around Ryan's neck and kissed him.

After only one millisecond, Ryan pushed Gabriella off. "EW! GROSS!"

Gabriella looked shocked. "What?"

Ryan looked at Gabriella pityingly. "You didn't know? Gabriella, I'm gay."

Gabriella was shocked. Ryan… gay? "You idiot! I _didn't_ know! Obviously!"

And with that, Gabriella pushed Ryan aside and stomped towards home, in search of a new, not gay, boyfriend.

**A/N: OK. That chapter's done. Now, all of you ****Juliet is who?**** fans out there, I'm going to start writing the new chapter today or tomorrow. I promise with within the next week. And all you readers, please review! You make me happy when you do! And the first reviewer gets a special mention in the next chapter, huzzah!**

**Tootles!**

**TheFabMax**


	3. The Chadella Chapter

**Gabriella Gets Around**

**Chapter Three: The Chadella Chapter**

**A/N: So… for the special mention, I will respond to the first reviewer's review. And this happens to be cookiemonster9032. So, cookie… thank-you for saying that my story is funny. The next couple is Chadella (as you could have probably guessed). Yes. Your review was awfully short. :[ Ah, well. So, moving into unknown territory for me. There aren't exactly a lot of these stories out there, you know. But I will do my best. Oh, and for all you Ryan-lovers out there-- do not hate me. I love Ryan, personally, but most of the stories make him seem gay. It's the truth!**

Gabriella stomped away, still a little glassy from the shock of the truth. Ryan was _gay_? Gabriella knew that he dressed really weird, but she thought that maybe Sharpay had made him dress like that, not that it was the clothes of his choice! And Ryan had never seemed gay otherwise… except for when he was envisioning himself kissing Troy. That was awkward. But, other than that, he seemed fine!

But, Gabriella thought to herself, she had to stop beating herself up. What she really needed to put her mind on was getting a new boyfriend! She couldn't go more than 24 hours without a boyfriend, or she might spontaneously combust! Or she could loose her reputation, but that's pretty much the same thing, eh?

While Gabriella was pondering that sticky situation, Chad Danforth was having a problem of his own. He was failing math! Chad started to run a hand through his mass of curls, but it immediately got stuck. He struggled to pull his hand out, getting more frustrated by the minute.

"ARGH!" Chad yelled, and yanked his hand out of his hair. Finally! He had solved that problem. Now he needed to do something about his math mark.

Chad's yell had attracted some attention, mainly from one Gabriella Montez. She had heard Chad's angry yell, and was extremely turned-on by it. She could not, in fact, imagine a noise that could be sexier than that. It wasn't possible!

Now that Gabriella thought about it, actually, she realized that everything about Chad was immensely sexy. His thick, lush, curly hair right down to his rough, manly, calloused feet suddenly appealed to her greatly. In fact, she thought that she should maybe go talk to him. Because she absolutely _had_ to look into those gorgeous chocolate-brown eyes.

"Hey, Chad," Gabriella said in her most sultry voice. "What seems to be that matter? It looks like _something _is on your mind."

Chad gulped. He didn't know what to say! Girls never gave him attention, because who wants the sidekick? "Um, you know, um, stuff." He managed to spit out, and mentally kicked himself. _Stuff_?! What kind of lame, generic answer was that?

Gabriella, however, didn't seem to mind. "What kind of…_stuff_?" she asked, running her hand up and down his arm.

Chad cleared his throat, suddenly very aware that Gabriella was mere inches away from him, and how her hand felt so good on his arm. In fact, he thought it felt so good that he got lost in a daydream about what _other_ parts of her body would feel awfully good on him. If you know what I mean. Chad does, indeed, have a dirty mind.

Gabriella cleared her throat. "Ahem. Chad? Are you OK?" Gabriella wondered if Chad had some… _special problems_. Maybe he was mentally unsound?

However, Chad soon snapped out of his dirty daydream. "What? Oh, um, yes, I have some… problems."

A-ha! Gabriella thought. He _was_ mentally unsound! But she tried to be soothing nonetheless, even though she didn't really go for the mentally ill type. The author is thoroughly confused by this, because she thought that Gabriella went for every type! But, hey, you never know, eh?

"What kind of… _problems_?" Gabriella asked, stroking his arm again. Chad had a weird deja-vu sense, but he shook it off.

"Um, I'm…" Chad hung his head. "I'm failing Math."

Gabriella was surprised by this information. Failing Math? That was all that was wrong with him? Well, that wasn't so bad. Gabriella _definitely _went for the stupid-sidekick type.

"…I really don't know what to do!" Chad was saying, bringing Gabriella back to their conversation. "My mom thinks that I should get a tutor or something, but I don't know who to ask…"

Gabriella was suddenly struck with an idea. Which was quite a rare occurrence for her. "Chad, why don't I tutor you?"

Chad looked at Gabriella, hope in his eyes. "Really? You'll tutor me?" He smiled. "That means so much to me!"

Gabriella mentally rolled her eyes. What a sap. She loved saps. "Yes, really."

"For free?" Chad asked.

Gabriella scowled. "No! Of course not! Isn't your mom paying me for this?" she asked. "A girl's gotta shop, you know."

Chad pouted. "Fooey. OK, I'll get my mom to pay you. But only if my Math mark goes up within the next week."

Gabriella considered it. "Make it in the next two weeks, and you've got yourself a deal."

Chad considered that. "Deal or no deal? Hmmm. That's a catchy phrase, eh?" He turned excitedly to Gabriella, who raised her eyebrow. "What? You don't like it?"

"I think it's already been used." Said Gabriella dryly. My God, did this boy never watch TV?

"Has it? Ah, well. Anyways, you've got yourself a deal!" Chad held out his hand, and him and Gabriella shook on it. Gabriella felt a thrill go through her body. His hand was so manly and calloused! Gabriella started to imagine what it would be like to hold this calloused hand. My, that would be _heaven_…

"Um, Gabriella?" Chad said, sounding slightly worried. Gabriella realized that she was still holding his hand, and dropped it.

"My bad!" Gabriella said, making gangsta-rappa-hands. "Sorry, foo!"

"Riiiiight…" Chad said. _That_ was awkward. "See you tomorrow!"

"Lata, my homie-diggity-dog!" Gabriella responded. She hoped her knowledge of street lingo would attract Chad. After all, Gabriella had some street cred. She was a drug dealer, you see. But Gabriella didn't do drugs. She just dealt them. Gabriella did, indeed, have many talents. And alter egos.

When Gabriella got home, she started to realize the consequences of her crush on Chad. Here's how it went down in Gabriella's mind;

Gabriella just broke up with Troy.

Troy now hates Gabriella.

Troy would bad-mouth Gabriella to Chad, calling her a slut. When Gabriella came onto Chad, that would be confirmed.

Gabriella attempted to hug a pillow to her chest, but could not manage to put her arms around her chest and the pillow, which you need to do in order to hug the pillow. So she settled for huddling in a corner, like all of the emo kids in her school.

After several minutes of this, she decided that she had to take it slow with Chad. She could do it, right? The author coughs something, which sounds an awful lot like, 'No she can't', but Gabriella decided to ignore that.

Yes, she told herself, taking it slow would be a good thing to do with Chad. Gabriella bet that he hadn't even lost his virginity yet, which Gabriella had. Even if it had only been several days prior. But that didn't matter. Gabriella could also tell that he was shy. She liked the strong, silent type.

THENEXTDAY-THENEXTDAY-THENEXTDAY

Gabriella was excited for her first tutoring session with Chad. It promised to be a very exciting endeavor, thought Gabriella, showing off her extensive vocabulary to the author, and rubbing it the author's face that she wasn't nearly as smart or hot as she was. The author is confused at how a large vocabulary relates to how hot you are, but decides to let it go.

"Hey Chad!" Gabriella said pep-ily to Chad. "Are you ready for our first tutoring session?!"

Chad mumbled something incoherent, and looked at his overly-large feet.

"What was that, Chad?" Gabriella asked, while admiring his bushy, coconut-shaped hair.

"I said, 'Can you be quieter?' " Chad responded, in a low voice.

Gabriella lowered her voice and asked, in a very obvious stage whisper, "Why do we have to whisper?"

Chad rolled his eyes in a not-completely-straight way. He had thought this was the smartest girl in school! "I don't exactly want everyone to know that I have to be tutored! Duh!"

"Oh, no you di'int!" Gabriella exclaimed, snapping her fingers in a Z-formation. "You did _not_ just 'duh' me, gir'friend!"

"Um, actually, I just did…" Chad answered, thoroughly confused. When did she go all gangsta? "And I'm not a girl. Haven't you noticed?"

Gabriella heaved a dramatic sigh. Her knowledge of gangsta lingo and ways was lost on this boy. "Yes, I've noticed. I was just using my knowledge of street lingo on you. But obviously you don't get it. You probably are too easily distracted to learn anything."

Chad turned back to Gabriella, looking somewhat sheepish. "Sorry, I didn't hear you. I was too busy watching that pretty butterfly -- I mean, manly butterfly." Chad coughed. "Ooh, look, that one's blue!" Chad squealed, and chased after it.

Gabriella heaved another dramatic sigh, and then realized that no one was around to hear her dramatic sigh. So she walked over to a random student, sighed again, and walked back to her original spot.

After school, Gabriella met Chad on the front steps.

"Hey Chad!" she said eagerly. Gabriella quickly looked around, and then lowered her voice. "Are you ready for our tutoring session now?"

Chad rolled his eyes again in that not-completely-straight way. "Gabby… no one is outside except for us. You don't have to whisper now!"

Gabriella's eyes filled with tears at the (non-existent) angry tone in Chad's voice.

"Chad Danforth! Why are you yelling at me?! That is so rude and disrespectful!"

Chad was taken aback. Since when was Gabriella so moody?

"Why are you so moody today? Are you PMSing?" Chad asked innocently. The author shakes her head. Wrong thing to ask, Chad, wrong thing to ask.

This was the last straw for Gabriella.

"Ex-_cuse_ me? _Excuse me_?! Am I PMSing?! No, you moron, I am _not_ PMSing! I am pregnant with Troy's child, and I will be a hormonal pregnant woman if I want to!!" With this, Gabriella stamped her foot, and turned away from Chad.

Chad was dumbfounded. Gabriella was pregnant? How did she even get pregnant? Chad wasn't quite sure yet. His mom had said something about the male 'planting a seed', but Chad hadn't really been listening. There had been butterflies outside of the window that he had wanted to watch.

"Oh, um…" Chad stuttered, not quite sure what to say. "You're pregnant…that's awkward."

"You know what's also awkward?" Asked Gabriella. "The fact that you are still dating my best friend. When did you break up with her? Are you still with her? WHY DOES EVERYONE FORGET ABOUT TAYLOR?!?!" Gabriella's hormones were obviously working overtime.

Chad's eyes widened. He _had_ forgotten about Taylor! Cra--Crud! Chad wasn't allowed to swear. Not even in his head. His mom had forbidden it. And since Chad was a momma's boy, he actually listened to his mom. What a wimp--I mean, good, nice boy.

"Um," Chad said, stalling for time. "Um…I already broke up with Taylor…kinda."

"What do you mean, _kinda_?" said Gabriella, her eyes narrowing lethally.

Chad gulped. "Well, I thought that I made it obvious that I didn't want to see her anymore…"

Gabriella then looked at him with a death stare so intense, Chad could feel his organs start to fail.

"I'll text her." Chad mumbled, and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. The text went something like this;

_hay, tay. i thnk we shood c othr ppl. itz ovr. -Chad_

Chad then put his cell back in his pocket, and turned to Gabriella. "It's all taken care of," he said, patting the pocket where his cell phone was stored. "Let's go."

Gabriella, her happy mood now restored, linked arms with Chad. "OK, honey-cheeks. Let's go."

When they got to Gabriella's house, they sat down at her table. Which is a fairly crazy place to sit down when you are tutoring someone.

"So, Chad, what don't you get?" Asked Gabriella, bending down to retrieve a dropped pencil, and coincidentally showing off her cleavage at the same time. Which is rather hard to do in a crew-neck shirt, let me tell you.

"Well, I don't really get number four." Said Chad, pointing to it in the text book.

"OK, well then, let's see…two plus X equals seven…what is the value of X?"

"I don't know, that's what I'm asking you!" said Chad, obviously frustrated.

"When you are frustrated, you frustrate me. Sexually, I mean." Said Gabriella randomly. Obviously, she wasn't happy just having Troy's baby. She wanted to have Chad's, too!

Chad was taken aback. What was _that_ all about?

"Um, OK…alrighty then. Do you know what the value of X is yet?" Chad asked, trying to change the subject.

"Your helplessness turns me on even more." Said Gabriella in a low voice, now stroking Chad's thigh.

Chad felt himself start to blush. "Um, are we going to get back to Math? Please?"

"No way, Chad. We are going to start studying anatomy." And with that, Gabriella threw herself onto Chad. And they did…naughty things. Vey, very naughty things.

THENEXTMORNING-THENEXTMORNING

As Gabriella woke up, she realized that something was horribly, horribly wrong. Not only did she have a pounding headache, but she was lying, naked, across an equally naked Chad Danforth. Gabriella had a sneaking suspicion that she had just had sex again, but she couldn't be sure.

"Chad, did we wear a condom?" asked Gabriella inquiringly.

Chad paled. "What's a condom? Were we supposed to wear one?"

"Nope, we weren't supposed to. The condom companies are idiots, you see. When you wear a condom, you get pregnant. And when you don't, you stay baby-free. That's how it works."

Chad nodded his head in understanding, and started to get dressed.

Gabriella, too, started to get dressed. But she had a strange feeling that something wasn't right.

**A/N: OK, I'm updating. I haven't updated in forever, I know. I'm very sorry. It's my fault. I'm just a lazy bum.**

**Reviews are always appreciated, whether they are from anonymous or not anonymous people.**

**Tootles!**

**TheFabMax**


	4. The Zekella Chapter

**Gabriella Gets Around**

**Chapter Four: The Zekella Chapter**

**A/N: Wow. So, I havent updated in a looooooooong time. I don't have a really good excuse, I just started a new school last year, and tired of fanfiction. But I'm back!! Here's a hopefully decent chapter. I'm a little rusty….**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…blah, blah, blah…**

As Gabriella was struggling to pull her shirt over her MASSIVE….well, you know….she thought of something. Her and Chad hadn't used a condom. At first, she thought that not using one was a good idea. But now that she thought about it, she never, ever got pregnant with Chad's child. Gabriella, feeling faint, grasped the dresser for support, while convieniently striking a frabulous pose at the same time. What if…what if she was preggers with Troy's and now Chad's child. Could you be pregnant with two kids at once? From two different boys?

Gabriella mulled this over. While she was certainly very slutt—I mean, smart, they didn't exactly teach this stuff at school. Nor did she read about it in her Vogue magazines. So, to be safe, she decided to go to a doctor.

"Um, Chad, my homie…I gotta go, diggitty-dawg. Lataz." Said Gabriella. And yes, she did mean to say it with a 'z'.

Chad wished that she would stop trying to be gangsta. "Um, sure. Why?"

"Um, no reason." Said Gabriella. "Um, bye?"

"Um, okay?" said Chad, confused at why they were starting every sentence with an 'um'. Was this a new game? Chad _loved _games! "Um, bye!" he said, deciding to play along.

"Whatevs." Gabriella walked out the door.

"HAH!" she heard a voice yell after her, "YOU LOSE!"

Gabriella shook her head. Chad was soooo stupid. She decided to dump him after her doctor's appointment.

When Gabriella entered the doctor's office, she went to the front desk. "Gabriella Montez here, for Dr. Horace Oswald Regald Nate Young."

The secretary sighed. "You don't have to say the full name, Ms. Montez. Please wait in the waiting area."

"Of course I'll wait in the waiting area. What else could you do in there?" said Gabriella pout-illy.

"I believe you mean, who." Said the secretary under his breath.

"What did you say?" asked Gabriella.

"Nothing, nothing." The secretary turned back to his computer.

Deciding to leave it at that, Gabriella picked up a magazine and, ignoring the articles, started posing like the models in the ads.

Turning to the lady beside her, she pointed at one of the pictures. "Don't you hate these pictures? This girls are so slutty," said Gabriella, readjusting her low-cut, see through top that she was wearing with no bra.

"Mm-hmm," the lady nodded, and moved a chair over, trying not to make eye contact. The author feels her pain.

Gabriella was finally called up, after finishing a CosmoGirl, People, and the latest Vogue. When she stepped into the doctor's office, she was shocked to see…..

"Zeke! What are you doing here?" she cried in surprise. Was it her imagination, or did Zeke look…sexier than normal, in his white lab coat and hospital-grade shoes?

"Oh! Gabriella! I didn't realize it would be you! I mean, there are a lot of other Gabriella Montez's…" he trailed off as the author coughed something, which sounded an awful lot like, "Yeah, right."

"Did you hear that?" asked Zeke nervously.

Gabriella waved it off. "Don't worry. That's just the Author. She's just jealous."



Zeke shrugged. "Works for me. So…what seems to be wrong?"

"Wait!" Gabriella held up her unusually graceful hand. "You never told me what you were doing here!"

"Right…well, Doctor Young conveniently had to leave town for an hour, and he asked me, a simple baker/basketball player to be his fill-in for the single appointment."

"OK, I'll believe that." Said Gabriella, fluttering her eyelashes. The Author barfs, which the janitor goes to clean up. "So, here's what's up…I had sex with Troy, then Chad. I was preggers after I had sex with Troy, so I just wanna know what's up."

Zeke gulped. _This_ was awkward. "OK…I guess I'll just, you know, do an ultrasound, or something…" Zeke then smeared some pudding on her belly, and somehow this aroused Gabriella.

"Oh…_Zeke_ …" Gabriella gasped.

Zeke put down his chocolate pudding. "What?"

"Take me now!" Gabriella then threw herself on him, and they did it. In the conveniently empty waiting room.

NOTAGAIN-NOTAGAIN-NOTAGAIN

Gabriella woke up after about twenty minutes. Why did she always fall asleep after sex? She had to stop doing that. The Author giggles as she thinks naughty thoughts. Doing _what_ now, Gabriella? Or should I say who? Hahaha…

Well, at least now Gabriella knew what else you could do in waiting rooms besides wait. Or should she say, who? What's this? Déjà vu? Nah…

Gabriella thought of this recent twist of events. So now she had done Troy, Chad _and_ Zeke…hmm. OK.

"Zeke…ZEKE…_ZEKE_!! Wake up!!" she yelled. "I still have 35 minutes left in my appointment! WHAT' WRONG WITH MY BABY!?"

Zeke started. "What? Um, let me do a quick scan with this…thingy." Zeke grabbed the ultra-sound machine, and ran it over Gabriella's chocolate-smeared belly. He grimaced at the screen.

"Why are you grimacing…what's wrong…is my baby gonna be ugly?!" Gabriella questioned, starting to hyperventilate. She grabbed a nearby paper bag, dumped out the drugs inside, and took deep, sexy breaths. When she was done, she had turned Zeke on…again…but he resisted his urges.

"Gabriella…can I call you Gabby?..."

"Nope, you can't." said Gabriella quickly. Dang, she hated that nickname! I mean, could they _be _any more unoriginal?

"OK…Gabriella, then…I'm afraid that your child will have a mix of my genes, Chad's genes, _and_ Troy's genes." Said Zeke.

"Really? You can tell that from a," Gabriella quickly counted on her toes, "three day old baby?"

"Yes. We're very advanced here in fanfiction land." Replied Zeke. Yeah, because Zeke is such a great doctor, and he knows all. Riiiiiiight…

Gabriella sat on the chair, and mulled over _this_ change of events. This would be one screwed-up child.

**A/N: OK, please tell me what you honestly think…this is a hard pairing to write for (there are, like, maybe two stories about them), and I'm rusty. So please review! I love you all!**

**Tootles!**

**TheFabMax**


End file.
